Equine Murphy's Laws

• The least useful horse in your barn will eat the most, require shoes every four weeks and need the vet at least once a month.
• A horse's misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the number of people who are watching.
• Your favorite tack always gets chewed on, and your new blanket gets torn. Tack you hate will never wear out and blankets you hate cannot be destroyed. Horses you hate cannot be sold and will out live you.
• Clipper blades will become dull when your horse is half clipped.
• If you approach within fifty feet of your barn in clean clothes, you will get dirty.
• The number of horses you own will increase to the number of stalls in your barn.
• Hoof picks always run away from home.
• If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most recent injury.
• To induce labor in a mare, take a nap.
• To cure equine constipation, load him in a clean trailer.
• To cure equine insomnia, show him in a halter class.
• To get a horse to wash his own feet, clean the water trough and fill it with fresh water.
• To get a mare to come in heat, take her to a show.
• To make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal you always wanted, sell her before she foals.
• To induce a cold snap in the weather, clip your horse.
• To make it rain, mow a field of hay.
• To make a small fortune in the horse business, start with a large one.