Horsey Humor: Strange horse laws

Here is a collection of some of the wildest horse laws ever passed. A great
many of these laws were aimed specifically at horses and riders. No one
knows how they got there and no one living has a memory of anyone arrested
under them.

In Omega, New Mexico, every woman must "be found to be wearing a corset"
when riding a horse in public. A physician is required to inspect each
female on horseback. The doctor must ascertain whether or not the woman is,
in fact, complying with this law!

In Hartsville, Illinois, you can be arrested for riding an ugly horse.

In Pattonsburg, Missouri, according to the Revised Ordinances, 1884: "No
person shall hallo, shout, bawl, scream, use profane language, dance, sing,
whoop, quarrel, or make any unusual noise or sound in such manner as to
disturb a horse."

A Wyoming community passed this one: "No female shall ride a horse while
attired in a bathing suit within the boundaries of Riverton, unless she be
escorted by at least two officers of the law or unless she be armed with a
club." And continues with this amendment to the original: "The provisions of
this statue shall not apply to females weighing less than ninety pounds nor
exceeding two hundred pounds."

A misworded ordinance in Wolf Point, Montana: "No horse shall be allowed in
public without its owner wearing a halter."

A Fort Collins, Colorado Municipal Code: "It is unlawful for any male rider,
within the limits of this community, to wink at any female rider with whom
he is acquainted."

Abilene, Kansas, City Ordinance 349 declares: "Any person who shall in the
city of Abilene shoot at a horse with any concealed or unconcealed bean
snapper or like article, shall upon conviction, be fined."

1899 vintage law from Waverly, Kentucky: "Any person who shall ride a horse
in a public place while wearing any device or thing attached to the head,
hair, headgear or hat, which device or thing is capable of lacerating the
flesh of any other person with whom it may come in contact and which is not
sufficiently guarded against the possibility of so doing, shall be adjudged
a disorderly person."

A 1907 Cumberland County, Tennessee statute reads: "Speed while on horseback
upon county roads will be limited to three miles an hour unless the rider
sees a bailiff who does not appear to have had a drink in thirty days, then
the horseman will be permitted to make what he can."

Figure out this 1913 Massachusetts law: "Whosoever rides a horse on any
public way-laid out under authority or law recklessly or while under the
influence of liquor shall be punished; thereby imposing upon the horseman
the duty of finding out at his peril whether certain roads had been laid out
recklessly or while under the influence of liquor before riding over them."

Ice cream lovers beware in Cotton Valley, Louisiana. Citizens aren't allowed
to eat an ice cream cone while on horseback in public places.

It's illegal in Marion, South Carolina, to tickle a female under her chin
with a feather duster to get her attention while she's riding a horse!

A newly married man in Kearney, Nebraska, can't ride alone. The law states
that he "can't ride without his spouse along at any time, unless he's been
married for more than twelve months."

It is strictly against the law in Bicknell, Indiana, for a man to leave his
new bride alone and go riding with his pals on his wedding day. The penalty
is a week in jail.

In Bismark, North Dakota, every home within the limits of Bismark must have
a hitching post in the front yard.

Budds Creek, Maryland, has an antique law which prohibits horses from
sleeping in a bathtub, unless the rider is also sleeping with the horse.

Citizens are prohibited from buying, selling or trading horses "after the
sun goes down" in Wellsboro, Pennsylvania, without first getting permission
from the sheriff.

In Pee Wee, West Virginia, people are prohibited from swapping horses in the
town square at noon!

A unique law in Pine Ridge, South Dakota where horses are banned from
neighing between midnight and 6 a.m. near a "residence inhabited by human
beings."

And in Pocataligo, Georgia, horses aren't allowed to be heard neighing after
10 p.m.

Paradise, California, retains a most unusual law that says it is illegal to
let a horse sleep in a bakery within the limits of the community. What about
goats, cows, etc.?? Only horses are mentioned.

In Sutherland, Iowa, a law governs how horses may be seen when on the
streets during evening hours. The animal must always have a light attached
to its tail and a horn of some sort on its head.

No rodeos in this town! No man is allowed to ride his horse "in a violent
manner" if he happens to be in Boone, North Carolina.

Female riders in Clearbrook, Minnesota, be aware of this one governing the
heel length of a horsewoman's shoes. Any such woman can wear heels measuring
no more than 1-1/2 inches in length.

A loony clothing ordinance in Upperville, Virginia, bans a married woman
from riding a horse down a street while wearing "body hugging clothing." A
$2 fine can be imposed on any female rider who wears "clothing that clings
to her body."

An attorney can be barred from practicing law in Corvallis, Oregon, should
he refuse to accept a horse in lieu of his legal fees.

Trying to find a wife? Watch out in Tranquility, New Jersey that you don't
violate this law. The law states that a person can't distribute handbills
while on horseback as a means of advertising for a wife.

McAllen, Texas, has outlawed citizens from taking pictures of horses on the
Sabbath. Any person who "disturbs" or "otherwise antagonizes a horse" in
this manner will be subject to a fine of at least $1.50 and can be jailed
for as much as "three full days and nights."

In Burdoville, Vermont, it states that "no horses are allowed to roam loose
between March 1 and October 20!

In case you have an accident in Hortonville, New York, here's their antique
law: "The rider of any horse involved in an accident resulting in death
shall immediately dismount and give his name and address to the person
killed.

Watch out in Rhinelander, Wisconsin if you are riding a horse while
intoxicated! An old ordinance takes care of the problem. Such a horseman,
per the law, must be given a "large dose of castor oil." Who doles out the
penalty? The horseman's wife! Refusal to take the castor oil results in a
fine!

In closing, a summation of Clergyman Henry Ward Beecher's view on the art of
lawmaking holds so much truth. "We bury men when they are dead, but we try
to embalm the dead body of laws, keeping the corpse in sight long after the
vitality has gone. It usually takes a hundred years to make a law; and then,
after the law has done its work, it usually takes another hundred years to
get rid of it."

Contributed by Laurie Pringle to Stormy May's Horse Management Newsletter
Original contribution to equerry.com by Lynn G.